Conversation trees
I’m afflicted with a trait called ‘cluttering’. It means that when I speak extemporaneously, I talk quickly, and in a disorganized fashion. If I’m very excited, I can even lapse into semi-connected fragments of sentences. This usually happens because I’m trying to say more than one thing at the same time.
I experience this when I’m writing, too. It shows up the most when I’m writing exchanges between complicated characters, midway through the story. I often feel as if Character B could reasonably say a number of things in response to Character A– and I know what all those things are. Many of them seem quite important to say– but as soon as I choose a single response, the opportunity to say some of those other things is gone.
This is where a poorly outlined scene can drag my story off rails. If I don’t know where a conversation is going, complete with some actual dialog guideposts, I can decide on an exchange that can totally change the story. This can be really frustrating because the conversation feels genuine and true to the characters and, since I’ve already written it, seems like the only thing they can say.
Alternately, I can end up writing really cluttered exchanges, where I try to include everything happening at once, or address every statement, or describe everybody’s reaction in a group scene. One of the best writing lessons I learned when I was younger was to limit almost every exchange to two people or maybe (rarely) three people. There are tricks that make this useful advice even in gatherings of large people. I one wrote a party scene that I think worked very well by casting it as a sequence of short 2-person exchanges, which not only allowed me to feature lots of people but gave the scene unusual energy.
I’m still working on applying that advice in non-dialog scenes. My current project has several action scenes with five or more characters and I really have trouble figuring out how to manage them. It seems like focusing on only two characters at a time is extra-hard when I’m using a close point of view and what the other characters are doing matters to the protagonist’s fate. I’ll be coming to the first of those scenes soon in my review of MBG and hopefully I can come up with a method of tightening them up. ‘Cluttered’ was exactly the word a beta reader used to describe them…
I wonder how other writers envision dialog?
(Hey, look at my subject line. I was going to make a reference to writing conversation trees for video games, which is an activity I enjoy doing and excel at organizing. But I made different choices in structuring this post, so it went off rails! The penalty of disorganized writing! Well, another time.)
Today I have no words
Because I am caught up in what is happening in Cairo. Maybe I’ll talk more later about what happened there, and what happened inside me, and how it relates to writing.
One of Those Days
I officially started the editing of Matchbox Girls, this time for reals, on Monday. It helped to have a real date, and a manuscript marked up by Kevin. I haven’t had any trouble sitting down to work despite distractions. I could probably be doing more pages per day than I am but I don’t want to burn myself out.
I’m not making any major changes to it. Some have been suggested and I’ve rejected them because I want to get the book done and out the door.
Today was the first day, though, when I convinced myself that if I spent another six months to a year rewriting it, chopping it up, merging and removing characters, it would probably be a stronger story. I could almost see that stronger story.
But professionals I respect have encouraged me to not chop it up, to just polish it and send it out and let editors tell me how to chop it up. Or let editors reject it for being just… not quite good enough?
But I guess that’s the important part. Let others reject it. As much as I may want to stuff it under my bed and move on, I’ve already done that with one book. I can’t do the exact same thing I did last time. That would be boring.
But hiding it under the bed and moving on in search of the sure thing, the masterpiece… that would be easier than letting other people reject it.
I think I’m just having a bad day. A bad personal day, and getting to some parts in the novel where I can see the repetition one of my beta readers complained about. Just one, just one.
Anyhow, that’s my writing this week.
Hang-ups
It takes very little for me to cripple myself.
While I was employed in a lucrative day-job with a fair amount of free time, I convinced myself it would be Wrong to write while in the office. And lo, I could not write in the office. Even when I wanted to, the best I could do was development work. The actual work of prose narrative on screen was beyond my ability.
Currently, I’ve been delayed in continuing my edit of Matchbox Girls. And I’ve promised myself I’d finish Matchbox Girls and submit it somewhere before returning to Serial 13. So I have time dedicated to writing right now where I’m working on neither Matchbox Girls nor Serial 13. Instead, I’m toying with a third project. Because lo, I cannot work on Serial 13. My brain has decided that would be cheating, and it will do anything to distract me from cheating.
When I set myself a writing schedule, I inevitably develop a hang-up about writing outside the scheduled time. I’ll be interrupted, says my brain. I’m fortunate there, though– I’ve had a number of different writing schedules now and I don’t think it would be that hard to slip back into any one of them, as long as I was convinced I’d be able to scrape out 90 minutes or so of quiet time.
So far, I haven’t successfully pushed through a hang-up. In this case I’m probably not going to try. I’m keeping a writing habit going, and doing work that will be productive at some point and who knows if I’ll ever have time free of true deadlines in the future? But it’s worth being aware that I do have problems changing my plans when I commit to a certain order of actions, and try to keep myself flexible.
One day I’d love to hear about what kinds of writing hang-ups other people have.
ETA: Okay, I like this project I’ve created to work around my hangups that I’m developing hang-ups about continuing to work on it. I promised I’d do other stuff first! I can’t get attached! This is a fling, no strings attached!
I may have to work THROUGH a hang-up after all…
My little hobby
Sometimes I read negative reviews for fun. Negative reviews of stuff I love, negative reviews of stuff I hate, even of stuff I feel ambiguous about. I’ve wondered why I do this, why I take such pleasure in reading people who are enraged, or disappointed, or just haters. And, okay, partially it’s because I’m a troll.
But I think it’s also because I trust negative reviews more. Positive reviews are so common that it makes me distrust love, especially love that uses very broad terms to discuss the book.
I recently saw on a writing acquaintance’s site an announcement of a review blog, with the promise of ‘no negative reviews here!’. Are negative reviews really that bad? I suppose the idea is: negative reviews could hurt sales! And also, hurt feelings!
Regarding the former, negative reviews haven’t seemed to hurt Twilight at all. Word of mouth helps sales, but my impression is that even negative reviews count toward ‘word of mouth’. A hilarious or scathing negative review will probably produce as many new readers as an enthusiastic and positive review, just because enthusiastic and positive reviews feel so much like being advertised to– they’re that common. And because interests and means of enjoyment vary widely, probably as many new readers will become fans (or ‘fans’).
As for the latter, that negative reviews hurt feelings… well, I’m sure it’s true. I’m a writer. Negative feedback makes me sad, when it doesn’t make me laugh at how clueless the reviewer is. Sometimes, very occasionally, negative opinions of somebody I respect about something I love can also make me feel self-doubt. I can’t help but wonder what it says about a review site, though, if it’s worried about hurting writer and reader feelings? Is it a site interested in discussing and discovering books? Or only in providing validation to its readerbase through ego stroking?
I’m being mean, aren’t I? I should say there’s nothing WRONG with providing validation. Really. It’s okay. But it’s not really book reviews if nothing ever earns negative commentary.
Anyhow, I’m thinking I should be mean more often. Review more books I read. Demonstrate that it’s okay to talk about things you don’t like, and that not all books are amazing. And that we can learn about our own writing from having discussions about what doesn’t work in a book. Because that’s the final reason I read negative reviews. I learn a lot.
Some self-shaming
I have a novel to edit. But I haven’t been. It’s been the holidays– that’s an excuse! But the truth is, I’m afraid.
It’s not that I hate editing. I love making a book better! I like to add new scenes and I like to tweak dialog. I don’t like to remove characters although I don’t mind cutting scenes. But my stories are so sparse that usually I don’t need to cut much. At least according to my own judgement…
I think I’m afraid of this story though. I don’t generally think it’s a good idea to talk about problems with a specific story but as long as I’m editing this one I’m probably going to do so as penance.
I’m afraid of this story because I’ve spent so long on it– far longer than I wanted. It’s had two major drafts and I just want it to be done. And I wish I had an editor or agent so I could just focus on writing instead of trying to figure out how to make it publishable. I hate striving for publishabity or even agent-attraction instead of striving for what I consider a good story. I suspect this is why I should avoid critique groups– because I end up spending too long worrying about how to appeal to specific people instead if myself.
But that’s whining, isn’t it?
I really need to focus on making it good according to my own standards. And I need to get over my desire to Just Be Done. One thing I’ve finally Partially internalized this year is the journey Of a thousand miles starts with a single step. I might get over my indecision on how to edit this novel if I would just accept that there may be a lot of work left.